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The Voice Actor Feedback Forum

Script Genres > English Adult > Commercial > Infomercial

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    Air Jamaica

    Script:

    On our island, you can party all night, or you can have a quiet, romantic evening. Maybe rocking to Reggae suits your style, or how about strolling through a posh plantation while sipping a mango margarita?

    No, it’s not a dream, it’s paradise -- it’s Jamaica. And Air Jamaica is waiting to whisk you away on your choice of non-stop flights from New York to Montego Bay for only $199!

    Now that you don’t have to sell your soul to get to Paradise, what are you waiting for? Call your travel agent, or AIR JAMAICA at 1-800-JET-AWAY.

    70 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear vickydovoice's recording

    This is an ad for an airline. I practice a lot to have a happy tone. Hopefully, you can feel it. I also include music. Please tell me if it matches the content. I hope the recording quality is better this time.Thank you for your feedback.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-122872/script-recording-94338.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Vicky!

    I enjoyed the ambiance of this piece, it was upbeat! Your voice/accent was a great match for this piece, and you chose great music! That is something that I have no idea how to do. If I could offer any suggestion it would be on the timing. There longer spaces between sentences that could be closer for a more natural flow, but all in all you definitely made me smile and feel like getting away!

    ~Andi~

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    Alaska Airlines

    Script:

    At Alaska Airlines, you'll never fight for a seat. Maybe that's because we give you one when you book your flight.

    Check-out the selection of seats and low fairs at alaskaair.com

    83 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear vickydovoice's recording

    This is a very short commercial. I wonder if you would use this service after listening to the commercial. I really want to improve my performance. Please give me your comments. Thank you very much.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-122872/script-recording-94340.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Very nice flow and pacing. I noticed in the 2nd sentence, you put emphasis on the word "one" and am thinking it might be a more powerful statement if the emphasis fell on the word "give" - just a thought. Also, in the final sentence you may want to stretch out the "seats and low fares at alaskaair.com" just a bit, not too much. Overall very nice, and great music.

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    Bar-S Invasion

    Script:

    Today we take what is ours. Today we continue our legacy which has transpired from the greatness of armies several centuries in the making.

    Today, we will be equipped with the necessary weapons that will bring us victory and make us the undisputed leaders in the Value segment. Today we stand together and start making our competitors turn their heads.

    THE BAR-S INVASION HAS BEGUN... LET THE DOMINATION BEGIN!

    50 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear Mike Martin's recording

    Round two. Orig. Script gives No Clue what it is about. It's for a competitor for Oscar Meyer Luncheon Meats. After hearing this, see my Bar-S REVISED, I rewrote and made a second script that isn't so vague. From TxTom's encouragement. It was clear you were having fun with it and that is important...kudos for taking such a shot with it. Look forward to hearing your re-do. Comment submitted by TxTom May 9

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-7863/script-recording-31762.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    I'm a beginner so my comments for what they're worth but the tone, pacing, and delievery just didn't jibe with the copy, which reads like a Capital One take-off of "What's In Your Wallet." You have a great voice but I'm not sure the soft intonation matches up with the whole "Invasion" theme.

    Peer Feedback:

    The read style just doesn't fit the script, it's too smiley. It's "sing songy", if that makes any sense. Too high in pitch at times. The pacing is good, though.

    Sound quality is overall quite good, but there is evidence of the use of noise reduction. I can hear there is a somewhat noisy room trying to be masked with processing.

    Interesting script, I'll take a stab at it, too.

    Peer Feedback:

    Thanks so much Otto for taking the time to comment. I hope I've progressed since then almost 3 years ago. That would place it time wise just a few months after I started VO here on Edge. Best Wishes on your Voice Career. Mike, mikemartinvoiceover.com (very early stages of development)

    Peer Feedback:

    your voice is good for audio books but kinda boring i've already changed the channel on this one but great for maybe guided meditation or hypnosis.

    Peer Feedback:

    I think your voice sounds good for a credit card commercial or something, but for this script, I don't think it works. Your tone is just too sing song-ish and not Dramatic enough!

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    33 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear KarenDenise's recording

    i missed the deadline for the last contest. i'd appreciate any feedback whatsoever. i'm brand new.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-4800/script-recording-29156.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Overall nice job for a first time,, you'll see a lot of comments on here about being conversational. Basically,, its taking the “read” out and putting in the feeling of talking to a friend. We ( the masses in out here land) want to feel as though we over heard you just talking,,, feeling,,, emoting. You have a good voice, and good pacing. My suggestion is to jump in here with both feet. This is the place you can try new things, make mistakes, and learn a ton. Most on here are very helpful, and willing to tell you about there experiences, knowledge, and bumps along the way. Hope its a exciting journey! As Harry chapin said in a song,, “its got to be the going, not the getting there that’s good.”

    Peer Feedback:

    thanks so much knm_voice for taking the time to listen and share your knowledge. i really appreciate it.

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    Edge Studio Advertisement

    Script:

    Welcome to Edge Studio
    The place where you can find all your voice over needs.
    If you are looking for Production, Education , and Resources
    Edge Studio is the place for cutting edge styles and techniques
    Edge Studio is BBB Certified. Join us right now at Edge
    Studio to learn how to become a professional voice over artist.

    84 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear YoungTeen's recording

    Does this sound like a real advertisement for Edge Studio? Feeback would be nice (I'm 13).

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-110136/script-recording-87781.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Wow you have a very deep voice for 13. My impression is that it's way over the top performance-wise. You want to talk like you're talking to a friend or someone you know and you're excited about the product but not in a way that sounds fake. The pacing changed quite a bit throughout (BBB Certified came out really fast) and you lost your thunder there at the end and it just sounded like you gave up and read the last few words quickly just to get them out.

    You drew out "needs" too long, and added a sense of exclamation points that aren't in the script at all. Also "the place" shouldn't be "thee place." We only use the "thee" pronunciation when the word following begins with a vowel. The end. The actor. The expressway.

    Really way, way too dramatic and over the top. It had a comical flavor, like you were doing a parody instead of an actual ad. The recording was clear, though. Do you have an accent? I thought I heard a bit of one in there.

    Peer Feedback:

    ha ha.......it's fun to play with different voices and inflections. That is why we all want to be voice over artists. We can play with different and silly voices. For this commercial, it probably isn't a good choice, but I'm sure you can use that booming voice for other commercials, public services and even animations. Keep practicing young Jedi. You are strong with the Force!!

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    Exploding Trading Account

    Script:

    If you would like to know how someone can start with a simple idea, and a small limited trading account, and then, explode it...multiple times over, this is going to be the most interesting message you will ever hear!

    33 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear eppervesce's recording

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-28067/script-recording-59800.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Hello: sounded a little like an echo, not sure where you were recording so you may want to check your space. I'm learning as well and it seems every day there are improvements I can make, but it is still fun though.

    chrissy45

    Peer Feedback:

    Your voice is appealing and has a nice energy. I think this sounds a bit like reading and not actually speaking to a specific person. There are also some odd inflections like with the word "then" and afterward an overly long pause before the word "explode." I can see that you were trying to put a lot more emphasis on the word "explode" but it seems more like it's a little bit too much of an emphasis for the tone of the rest of the read. Or maybe you could try bringing the tone of the rest of the script a little closer to where you are once you get to the word "explode." It kind of seems like the read suddenly comes alive there while the rest of the time it's just coasting. In the beginning there are some odd up-endings at the end of phrases which doesn't exactly sound natural.

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    Fire Safety

    Script:

    Evaluate your options. If an evacuation is deemed the appropriate course of action identify the accessible escape routes that are least likely to be obstructed by fire. Test any doors with your hand, and if they feel hot to the touch, choose an alternative route.

    30 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear bariitone's recording

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-57915/script-recording-58929.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Your recording is very good - calm, clear. The only comment I would make is that you are pronouncing the word "accessible" with all 's' sounds - "assessible".There should be a hard 'c' sound: like 'acksessible". Check it out on www.howjsay.com.

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    HD Aviator Sunglasses

    Script:

    OTHER Sunglasses sell for one hundred, two hundred, even three hundred dollars and they don’t have HD Vision lenses, that cut through glare and give you high definition color and clarity. Call and you can get our brand new HD Aviators for just ten dollars! …But Wait…Call right now and you’ll get a second pair for free! Just pay shipping and handling. HD Aviators! Don’t wait! Call NOW!
    (Low, fast voice) To order your HD Aviators for ten dollars and $6.99 shipping and handling have your credit card ready and call 1-800-788-1292. That’s 1-800-788-1292 or you can go to GetHDAviators.com. Don’t delay. Call 1-800-788-1292 or order on-line today.

    50 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear empz02's recording

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-58805/script-recording-57514.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Good spot. Nice read. I think you hit all of the important points.

    My 2c? I think this is one of those high-energy informercial spots. (The only other thing that might be included is a set of Ginsu Knives.) So, I think you need to pump it up a touch. This was a little to subdued for my ear. Not necessarily Billy May over-the-top, but just a little bit more umph.

    Peer Feedback:

    This is most definitely an over-the-top style read. Watch your pronunciations..."hundred" came awfully close to "hunnerd".

    Peer Feedback:

    I agree that this is a high-energy spot where a little more speed could be helpful, and you gave it the right amount of speed. I noticed that the word "clarity", which is difficult to say clearly, came off as clare T. Also, the phone number doesn't need pauses, especially since it is being repeated so often.

    Peer Feedback:

    Great voice, and in my opinion you punched the right words. I feel the second section called for a faster read; pinch the pauses and speed up that section (it's more objective and obligatory than the main copy which wants to be an excited read).

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    26 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear Mike Martin's recording

    Could not submit when this was the contest but did want to get in my practice. Yes of course I used what was said about the reads back then and made a worthwhile effort I hope. At least I got more Audacity experience in post production. Comment if you wish and Thank You, Mike Martin

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-7863/script-recording-32929.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Hey, Mike.
    Your energy is terrific and, as I recall, this is supposed to be a hard sell delivery. The tone starts negative, almost disgust, which seems appropriate too. There's something in your performance that gives this a parody feel to me, which is not as desirable. Might be something to do with your articulation/inflection. It's kind of staccato. Definitely a worthwhile effort, Mike. Keep at it.

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    HD Aviator Sunglasses

    Script:

    OTHER Sunglasses sell for one hundred, two hundred, even three hundred dollars and
    they don’t have HD Vision lenses, that cut through glare and give you high definition color and clarity. Call and you can get our brand new HD Aviators for just ten dollars! …But Wait… Call right now and you’ll get a second pair for free! Just pay shipping and handling. HD Aviators! Don’t wait! Call NOW!

    (Low, fast voice) To order your HD Aviators for ten dollars and $6.99 shipping and handling have your credit card ready and call 1-800-788-1292. That’s 1-800-788-1292 or you can go to GetHDAviators.com. Don’t delay. Call 1-800-788-1292 or order on-line today.

    32 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear psunderwood's recording

    My last read was too dry, so I'm trying to get more animated. Any comments on performance or recording quality gratefully received.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/HDAviators.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    This is still pretty dry, but I can tell what you were trying to do. It sounded kind of like you were trying to do this without waking a sleeping baby. Get lively! Read the script with ridiculous amounts of energy, and then record yourself reading it properly, and see the difference it makes.

    Peer Feedback:

    I agree with MusicJunkie. This is one of those fast-hard-sell things. High energy and lots of voice - but not shouting like Billy May did. And the low, fast voice at the end doesn't necessarily mean softer.

    Peer Feedback:

    Thanks, MusicJunkieK1 and jamesromick. I've uploaded another take, if you'd like to take a listen. It's really amazing; I thought the original take was pretty punchy, and when I replayed it with your comments in front of me, yeah, it just fell flat. That's why we practice...

    Peer Feedback:

    Hi, you read well and have good pacing. try to imagine who you are talking to and speak to them directly. also try drinking a little water or a sour apple before recording for help with tongue sounds.

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    HD Aviators

    Script:

    OTHER Sunglasses sell for one hundred, two hundred, even three hundred dollars and
    they don’t have HD Vision lenses, that cut through glare and give you high definition color and clarity. Call and you can get our brand new HD Aviators for just ten dollars! …But Wait… Call right now and you’ll get a second pair for free! Just pay shipping and handling. HD Aviators! Don’t wait! Call NOW!

    (Low, fast voice) To order your HD Aviators for ten dollars and $6.99 shipping and handling have your credit card ready and call 1-800-788-1292. That’s 1-800-788-1292 or you can go to GetHDAviators.com. Don’t delay. Call 1-800-788-1292 or order on-line today.

    45 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear psunderwood's recording

    Here's a second take of a script I uploaded yesterday. I'm trying to incorporate more energy, as suggested by previous comments. Better?

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/HDAviators_11Copy.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    First note: you should normalize or amplify until your sound comes up to -3db for the peak. You're at -8.9db right now...seeing how every 3db either doubles or halves (depeding on which way you go) the volume, you're right at 6 db below what you should be. Do THAT math.

    James commented on your last post of this and said "you don't have to should like Billy Mays," and I agree, but this IS an EXCITING OPPORTUNITY for GREAT GLASSES at a GREAT PRICE!!! I don't hear any element of excitement. I hear you reading a little more forcefully, but that doesn't convey conviction or genuine feeling of what a great chance this is to score some GREAT SUNGLASSES!! Give a listen to almost any VO doing the Made For TV products...those green skillets, that silly head band that holds your cellphone to your head, a chia pet...all of them might SOUND like they're shouting, but they're not...the adding excitement becuase they're about to wet themselves trying to get the message across. Now THAT is how to add the element needed here.

    Peer Feedback:

    If I were to grade it on the Spinal Tap scale ("This one goes to eleven."), I would grade your first one at a 3 and this one at a 4.5. A good lot of the "conversational" rules and style pretty much go out the window for these kinds of ads. This is Hard Sell.

    Do you get animated in in front of the mic?

    Try using your hands and arms with big waving, punching and sweeping gestures to emphasize those words. (Just don't knock into the mic.) Punch one finger for "one hundred", two fingers for "two hundred", etc. It will automatically force you to really punch the words. If you see these ads on TV, they're really a bit over-the-top. Even if you don't see people in the shot, the graphics are really colorful and close to the "POW" and "ZAP" kind of thing from the old Batman TV show from the 60's.

    I'm only guessing, but, from these two takes, I take it that you're just a little "reserved" in your everyday life. So, going overboard for you may feel silly, slightly uncomfortable and out of character. Let go. Don't be inhibited. From my experiences with directors, it's better to go too far and have them rein you in rather than them having to pull you along.

    Peer Feedback:

    TxTom: Noted. The new version boosted significantly. By the way, my wife bought two of those green skillets. Not bad until you wash them a couple of times.

    jamesromick: At least I've got an armadillo in my trousers... I did go in for some gesticulating, but did much more so on the update, which I hope you both will check out. I'm just amazed at how what I think at the time is over-the-top comes off as fairly staid. As for reserved, yeah, you nailed that right. And that's one reason I picked this script: to get a bit beyond my usual comfort zone.

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    HDAviators

    Script:

    OTHER Sunglasses sell for one hundred, two hundred, even three hundred dollars and
    they don’t have HD Vision lenses, that cut through glare and give you high definition color and clarity. Call and you can get our brand new HD Aviators for just ten dollars! …But Wait… Call right now and you’ll get a second pair for free! Just pay shipping and handling. HD Aviators! Don’t wait! Call NOW!

    (Low, fast voice) To order your HD Aviators for ten dollars and $6.99 shipping and handling have your credit card ready and call 1-800-788-1292. That’s 1-800-788-1292 or you can go to GetHDAviators.com. Don’t delay. Call 1-800-788-1292 or order on-line today.

    45 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear psunderwood's recording

    Once more; trying to be more forceful than in previous takes; waving my arms around, pointing, etc. Does this represent progress?

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/HDAviators_20Edited.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Much closer. Are your arms tired?

    Peer Feedback:

    jamesromick: Thanks! I'm glad to know I'm getting somewhere. My arms aren't that tired, but I'm amazed at how much stuff is literally within arms' reach...

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    Macintosh Switch

    Script:

    More people are interested in switching from PCs to Macs than ever before. Now, you’ll see why they made the switch, and just how easy it was! You’ll discover how compatible Macs are with PCs, learn all the great ways a Mac can give you a better digital life, and understand how Macs can make your life easier and your possibilities endless. You can do things on a Mac that PC users only dream about, and do them more easily, without giving up any of the compatibility with the PC world that you need.

    44 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear mr.joeloria's recording

    I've had a little trouble with mic volume and background noise. Would love to hear any/all performance comments.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-2163/script-recording-27061.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    good vocal,,good quality...quite professional sounding...

    Peer Feedback:

    Joe, I'm going to do my best to tell you what I hear, but I probably can't help you fix it. First off, you read well. Good conversational tone, friendly and outgoing. Also your energy and phrasing were very good.

    Actually, the recording was very good too. I did hear kind of an echo, not an echo per se, It is more pronounced from "you'll discover how mac's..." to the end. It's more like a rumble. I think it's a side effect of something you did while editing, maybe a bass boost or something like that. I can't see the wave form, but did you clip at all? Sounds like you have the right mic distance, I just can't put my finger on it. Maybe someone with more engineering experience can help you. Fix that and you have a winner. Nodo420

    Peer Feedback:

    I don't know anything about editing, but I think you'll sound just as fine otherwise.
    I'll study your work, if you don't mind. I don't know anything about this kind of speech.
    If someone talked to me like that in the days when I was working, I'd put him on the deck.

    Peer Feedback:

    It sounds like you are over using the noise reduction plugin, if that's what you are doing. NR will give you a washy, under water sound, because it's also eliminating frequencies from your voice. Same with too broad of a noise gate. Other than that a very good performance.

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    Motivational informercial

    Script:

    Listen in as we share the research-proven formula for success. Plus, athletes, stars and trainers share their motivational tips! All coming up in the next 30-minutes!

    29 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear Michael King's recording

    need advice to improve sound quality. does this recording have sibilance? any feedback appreciated.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-6112/script-recording-46315.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Hi Michael! I'm not the person to discuss technical issues as I am not experienced in that field, however I am the queen of sibilance (not a positive thing!) and I can reassure you that you do not appear to suffer from this very annoying condition/affliction! Niki ;-)

    Peer Feedback:

    lol Niki. hang in there!

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    New Home Buyer Guide E-Learning App

    Script:

    Suppose you want to purchase a house or apartment, and like most of us, you'll need a mortgage. Then you need to keep listening ... Because in the next 15-minutes, we'll show you how to get a mortgage, without any headaches. All you'll need to do is follow along with this audio-guide, watch your screen, and check off some boxes. Ready? To begin, click "house," "apartment," or "condo."

    28 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear Mike Martin's recording

    Can you hear somebackround noise? Been trying to isolate and avoid, (like in crazy avoid). Re-covered the inside of my sound box with audio foam (total coverage), put only the mic and written script inside and heard no backround through the cans. But when played I hear something in the backround. Hate to have to buy a new mic, using Blue Yehi (not pro). Thanks for any observations. Mike

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-7863/script-recording-30792.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Hi Mike.....
    Yes I do hear some background noise. I use the blue Yeti as well... Make sure you have the right setting on the back so it doesn't pick up the omni-directioanal, I am sure you are aware of it but just in case. I beleive audacity has noise reduction, adobe audition does for sure but it is pricey.

    Peer Feedback:

    Thanks for your response. I do use the cardioid setting and try to keep gain very low. I guess I'll try sitting on the mic (close) and drape a blanket over me to seal me in the box. Problemo is... no light and gets hot fast! Thought about installing a computer fan on top of the box (easy 'cuz it's foam) but then it's the same as having the laptop with it's fan inside the box. Maybe I'll wear an icepack, hummm? sounds do-able, a little crazy but do-able.. Mike

    Peer Feedback:

    Hi Mike--
    I, too, am a Yeti (pro) user. They're a really sensitive big diaphram condenser, so they're particularly sensitive to the sound pressure of air movement -- like HVAC systems, which is what this sounds like. It might be really hard to baffle your vents to prevent the whoosh going on in the background -- does your editing software have a "noise threshold"? you might turn it up to -80dB or higher (like -70dB)...that will cut out alot of that continuous hishing sound, but let your voice come through. Give it a try...can't hurt.

    Peer Feedback:

    Great comment df, gave me an idea I think others could use. Left Audacity recording and walked around the room where I record in my soundbox, (didn't use for this). Announced each noise generating item as I turned them off. Then could hear the most peskyest (is that a word?) noise, the refrigerator as it was turned off and whalaa. My major instigator was silenced. I then used a new recording and Audacity noise removal only and the result was exactly what I'm looking for. So off goes the refrigerator and probably the closest aquarium and try my recordings again in the soundbox. Think this may have cleared the slate (as it were). I'll post the recording of the process as a feedback item to see if others think this valuable. Mike

    Peer Feedback:

    Howdy Mike,

    I like the sound of your voice very much, and aside from the bg noise (which I have a problem with as well....No booth yet (ever?)) the one critiques I have is about your delivery. You seem to sort of fall into a 'sing-song' pattern as you read this. Work to make your delivery more conversational, after all, you are going to be with the listener for awhile, and they probably want to feel warmly toward who they are listening to.

    With kind regards,

    SteveO

    Peer Feedback:

    Thanks I like this kind of critque, gives me something positive and an area to work on, hopefully attainable. Yes this listener would be for a long relationship, not one to preach to, which I now hear some of as well. Gotta keep the delivery staight flowing.

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    20 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear MCred7's recording

    I am fairly new to the voice over business and am trying to get a feel for it. Any feedback is appreciated and I am open to suggestions.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-23439/script-recording-50528.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    MCred7 --
    cool voice -- very marketable.
    You had a nice pace in this read. There are a couple subjective things I might point out on the inflection or interpretation (like, take a pause after "and then..."), but it's a good performance.
    what is your recording setup?

    cheers,
    DS.

    Peer Feedback:

    Very nice voice. I also liked the pacing. I think sometimes you want to ignore puncuation such as the comma between small and limited it sounded a little unnatural to me. Also I think focusing on the word "the" in the phrase, " the most interesting" may not have been the best choice. Maybe try it putting the emphasis on "most" instead. Just suggestions from another newbie.

    Peer Feedback:

    I agree that you have a natural, relaxed, guy-next-door quality that I hear in lots of commercials. Lots of people would love to have that naturally. Good luck.

    Peer Feedback:

    You have a great sounding voice Mcred7. I think all is needed is a little more inflection in your read. Sounded a bit flat. But other than that, think your read sounded believable. Good luck!

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    Pan Am

    Script:

    Pan Am Interactive
    It's always the right time to fly Pan Am. And to assure a perfect trip, Pan Am has prepared this program to offer you important facts and helpful information, along with tips for travelers. Just click “start” for practical information. 50 years have passed since Pan Am established itself as a national carrier, and Pan Am has come a long way since then. It has matured into an international airline, serving thousands of destinations. Since its inception, Pan Am has served as a steadfast air bridge between Asia and the world.

    40 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear Eagleye's recording

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-88386/script-recording-73536.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Hi Eagleeye,
    I liked the comforting pace of your read. The voice sounded clear and pleasant. A couple of critical remarks -- I don't think you want to say A long in the 3rd sentence. Saying uh-long might make a teacher cringe, but it sounds more natural. Also, in the last sentence, I didn't hear "as a" but just "a". One last picky comment, smile while you're delivering this -- it would add warmth but keep it to the point as well. Otherwise, a very pleasant interpretation.
    Laura

    Peer Feedback:

    Yikes! Can't believe I dropped as, AND said long a before steadfast...also for the feedback about smiling which is usually a good idea...still trying to create emotion in my words!!

    Professional Feedback:

    Hi! Thanks for writing for feedback. Good Work. I think you are right the right track working on this kind of narration. A friendly. warm delivery style at a nice pace. You are hitting all the key words and generally leading me through the story of the copy. A few tips may kick this read to the next level.
    Let's talk technique first. Usually when we speak...the article...a... is pronounced as uh...the sound for the article ...a...is sometimes called a schwa sound and is represented by a symbol that looks like an upside down e. When we read though sometimes the letter ....a....is pronounced as...a....as in ace ....instead of uh...as in ugly..and it sounds a bit artificial. In this copy, I would suggest voicing uh long way...and... uh steadfast...I would also prefer a medial t sound in the word... In ter national...instead of voicing innernational with no t. The word destinations has a small whistling s...if you catch this in an audition record. I would give the line another pass.

    Now let's talk acting values. I would like to hear a bit more thought discovery. Try thinking of yourself as an expert in this area who is so knowledgeable that he can easily talk off the cuff without making an error. Imagine you are talking to someone who is really interested in what you have to say and you are watching the image of this imaginary scene partner to see if they are understanding each thought, so you can discover what to say next. If we voice as if we have the speech already prepared ...we sound much more like we are reading a speech...instead of talking. You could try playing some simple acting actions as well. The copy seems to have two parts. The mood changes a bit after practical information. Maybe try befriending me on the first part of the story and switching to inspiring me when you tell the history of the company you love so much. Then try picking some actions of your own. A good action will take a direct object with out any extra words...inspire her, help him, empower me, convince her, encourage me and so on. I hope those notes are helpful to your practice! Keep up the good work! all the best,

    Danielle

    Professional Feedback by Edge Studio Coach August 14, 2014 at 4:35PM

    Peer Feedback:

    Not sure that "emotion" is so much needed for this script as "attitude". This copy is full of company pride (even though Pan Am no longer exists) and it wants to be helpful in your experience with them as a carrier.

    From the top; You might lead in with a pre-sentence or thought - something like "Y'know, it's always the right time...." like you're my buddy and you've got something great to tell me about Pan Am. And carry that through with "Oh, and by the way, to assure a perfect trip,..." "Are ya ready? Just click..." "Y'know, 50 years have passed..."

    Or pick a person's name and say it before each sentence or thought. It personalizes it. "Hey, Bob, it's always the right time..." "And, Bob, to assure..." "Y'know, Bob, 50 years...and, Bob, Pan Am has come a long way..." "It has matured, Bob, into an ..." "And did you know, Bob, that since its inception..."

    Kind of ad-libbing the script before actually saying the words verbatim to get into that 'conversational" mode. That also may have something to do with the "smile" comment made by boxermom. This a little dry and detached. Be my friend. Because here you're "selling" to me, particularly in the way that you repeatedly punch "Pan Am" like a product. (If you isolate just those two words, you might hear that you say them nearly the same way with the same inflection and volume level each time - especially the last three times, which all sound identical.)

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    Practice Infomercial

    Script:

    Script:

    If you would like to know how someone can start with a simple idea and a small, limited trading account... and then... explode it MULTIPLE times over... this is going to be the most interesting message you will ever hear.

    19 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear smalltalk's recording

    Hi All, This is my first time submitting for peer review. I practiced several versions of this script for the contest. (My office buddy cringed so ultimately, I didn't submit any of these, but would appreciate your feedback on my performance quality and attempts at characters. All critiques can only help me get better. Thanks for taking the time! Cynthia

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-9551/script-recording-50746.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Between your 2 reads I like this one much more. It is much more attention grabbing. I'm glad you have decided to share yourself with us. I am a real newbie on here but the comments I have been given on my submissions have really helped. I know this wasn't a submission into the contest but an FYI, when you do submit for the contest be very aware of if and how they want you to slate before you read. After reading comments on past contests I found out (too late for me for this week as I did not slate properly) that you do want to read the directions very carefully and follow them to the best of your ability. I look forward to hearing more submissions from you!

    Peer Feedback:

    Thanks for your time and comments Ostheller. I did not include the slate here, but I am very careful to slate per instructions for all contest/audition entries. This particular entry did not have any director's comments, so I included my name (in character) and the title of the piece. I have been following the forum and contest entries for a while now, but this was my first entry. So from a fellow newbie -- cheers!
    Cynthia

    Peer Feedback:

    Hi, I listened to both your recordings, and agree that this is much better. It's a lot more natural, and that is what we always strive for in VO. At the same time, giving us two completely different reads demonstrates creativity, I like it.

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    Programming Infomercial Presentation

    Script:

    If you would like to know how someone can start with a simple idea and a small, limited trading account... and then... explode it MULTIPLE times over... this is going to be the most interesting message you will ever hear.

    23 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear Paul McCloud's recording

    I'm recording in a new venue. I'm using my bedroom, 10X14', with 8' ceiling. I have 9 2X4' sound absorbing panels on the walls. No "clouds" to absorb sound, though I'm considering it. I also use a Reflexion filter. I'd like to know if I need more room treatment, or ? I am also testing two mics, and would like to know which one sounds best. There are two different reads, back to back, recorded simultaneously with these two mics side by side. If you have an opinion on which one sounds best, I'd appreciate it. As far as the performance, any suggestions are also welcome.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-7508/script-recording-49841.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    The first read sounded clearer to me and it also had the best energy I thought. Interesting putting the contest script on the feedback forum before the close of submissions.

    Professional Feedback:

    Hi Paul,

    Thank you for choosing me to do a checkup on your audio.

    Performance: You seem to have trouble getting the words "limited trading account" out clearly. It sounds stuck in your nasal passages. Do you have a cold? The energy of the first read is better than the second overall, but the very end of the second read is strong.

    When you are not performing, I do hear city sounds coming in, so it isn't completely silent. That may be a bit of a challenge for you. I'm hearing a bit of the room in your recording, especially on the louder (more projected read). Clouds probably would be a good idea. Something directly overhead and also behind you would probably go a long way toward taming the "roominess". I think once you've gotten that tightened up you could have a nice sounding space.

    I hope this helps.

    Dan Friedman

    Professional Feedback by Edge Studio Coach January 28, 2013 at 10:36PM

    Peer Feedback:

    #3 is the best, in my opinion. Recording needs some noise removal. Great voice!

    Peer Feedback:

    I'd second the vote for number 3, in terms of mic placement and execution. Overall the recordings sound very clean. Nice work!

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    12 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear Jeff Hoffman's recording

    Been working on my regional accent... Have not started classes other than the dialect sessions with the AMAZING Linda Jones!!!! Planning on starting the program in full in Feb. Would love some feedback on the regional thing. Thanks for your help!!!! Jeff

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-17894/script-recording-49586.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Hi Jeff... I think you did a good job on this... your voice is warm, nice and easy. As far as regional accent is concerned, if you were going to for "Rhode Island Eastern New England" you totally missed the boat! :) Of course I jest, to my ears it sounded very neutral. Good work!

    Peer Feedback:

    Thanks Alyx!

    Peer Feedback:

    As far as any regionalism, the only thing I heard was a "yul" instead of "yoU'll", but only very slightly. Don't ever tell us what your regionalism is/was because, consciously or subconsciously, we'll hear it even if it's not there.

    Peer Feedback:

    i could imagine this read with a lot lot more energy and motivation!!
    regards
    Balazs

    Peer Feedback:

    Hi! Alyx. It think it was your pacing and inflection that drew the listener to your read, not to mention your beautiful tone,. Best.

    Peer Feedback:

    Pacing seemed a little slow for a sales pitch. You were very clear in your diction but your inflections were a little lacking - perhaps more of a charismatic quality to engage your audience.

    Best!

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    Say Hello to Pura - a kickstarter video

    Script:

    Say Hello to Pura, the world’s first smart air freshener. It’s a simple yet elegant plug-in device with two fragrances per dispenser. Set up is a breeze and can be done by anyone in under a minute.

    We love having our homes, apartments and offices smell fantastic, but that’s often easier said than done. To get these places to smell nice, people often use candles, aerosol cans, plugins, melted wax cubes, and sometimes all of the above. We often end up over-doing it and spend more than is necessary. People light candles and let them burn all day and others let plug-ins run on max until they can’t smell them anymore. And of course, I can’t leave out the people who keep cans of aerosol in the bathroom for when nature calls.

    105 people have played this

    Audition Recording:

    Click to hear jackieweiner1's recording

    Hi there all, I have just signed up with one of the Pay to Play sights and begun submitting auditions. Would really like some feedback as to recording quality and my performance. I have set up a temporary booth and am awaiting acoustic foam while I stand amongst the duvets:) Very different doing lots of auditions and not knowing how I truly sound so I look forward to hearing from some of you. Don't be too mean!!!!

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-80408/script-recording-79992.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    It's a bit sultry considering the subject matter. Also, you left off the sentence that begins "To get these places to smell nice.....". Very clearly enunciated, though.

    Peer Feedback:

    Thank you so much for your feedback, I will certainly take note of the "sultry" comment. The client had requested British and Attractive but I guess my sultry voice took over a little too much.
    I intentionally left off the sentence you mentioned as this was recommended to do so by the site.
    I appreciate your taking the time to respond :)

    Peer Feedback:

    Purely as bit of technique. Give yourself a "beat" between your slate and the body of the copy. Kinda felt that you rushed right into it.

    The sound quality seems pretty good. Your S's are just a touch sibilant though, more common with women than men.

    Second sentence - Think of "simple yet elegant" as a single descriptive of the product. That little pause/break seemed just a touch unnatural.

    Agree with mwjrnc about the "sultry" comment. Rightly or wrongly, Americans judge British accented English as being more "sophisticated" and/or "cultured" sounding than plain old American accented English. So, my bet is that that's what was being asked - that air of cultured sophistication rather sexy/sultry. Odors, and those pesky other types of odor eliminators, are beneath yours and Pura's dignity. Not in a snarky way, but rather in kind of a Royal way.

    Peer Feedback:

    Recording quality sounds good.
    I think this read could be sped up significantly. Maybe put a little more playful wink, and less sultry (as mentioned earlier).
    James mentioned the sibilance....you might try a de-esser to take the edge off.

    I think you missed the opportunity to put a mischievous end to the final line.

    nice voice and accent. very marketable.
    cheers,
    DS.

    Peer Feedback:

    Good job. Pacing and clarity I think were spot on. Sibilance is an issue, that can be a bug-a-boo. Recording quality, need some minor tweaks, sometimes sounds a bit "muffled". Your voice is very appealing.

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    Script submitted by szekhely

    Script:

    Beta Prostrate

    Stay tuned for a nationwide giveaway announcement.

    Are you a man who’s waking up at night again and again to use the bathroom? If you’ve got this problem, we’ve got your solution: doctor-recommended Beta Prostate. Beta Prostate is made with 13 natural ingredients that target your prostate. Imagine: quicker bathroom trips, better relief, and a full night’s sleep. Best of all you can try Beta Prostate FREE, during a nationwide giveaway. Over 4-million bottles of Beta Prostate have already been shipped. If you’re ready to spend less time in the bathroom . . . and get a good night’s sleep . . . call now. Claim your free bottle before time runs out. And as an extra bonus, get our men’s libido formula . . . to support better intimacy for both you and her. It’s yours absolutely free. Just cover the shipping and handling. Call now for details

    16 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear szekhely's recording

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-11867/script-recording-30150.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    I'm not sure if thats the way I would have read that. Its supposed to be an infomercial. I did the same one in a totally different style. Other then that I think everything else sounded great.

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    Snowboarding

    Script:

    Ask most folks to describe their first day on a snowboard, and what they’re sure to mention is falling down, more frequently--and more emphatically--than they ever imagined possible. Well, though it’s often said that nothing in life comes easy, snow-boarding can, at least once you get past the initial frustration. Without further ado, here are some hard-won tips to help minimize day-one bruises. Forget what you’ve heard about the sport being a breeze for anyone who already skis, surfs, skateboards, or seamlessly slaloms through a plague of Gap-crazed mall rats.

    34 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear alapter's recording

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/vo for edge jan 30.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    I had to check. I see this is your first post on the forum and you have entered 6 contests, so you're new here, but not quite new to Edge.

    Edit the head and tail silence (noise in this case) from the recording.

    lots of mouth noise - lip smacks mostly, but some tongue clicks as well.

    It's a little fast. And because of that, some of your words became smushed together and in articulate. Examples:

    "to describe" came out "t'd'cribe"

    "day on a snowboard" sounded like "danasnowboard"

    "and what they're sure..." - "anwatheresure"

    I refer to Nancy Wolfson who says, "Don't laugh at me." If we can see you, fine. But not just the voice. It sounds condescending.

    "Well, though it’s often said" came out "Welthoesofensaid"

    "once you get past" - "wonsyagepas

    "Forget what you’ve heard about the sport being" - 'Fergitwachuve heard abou-thespor being"

    Your voice is nice and clear and I'm sure that, if you just slow down a little, things will be more comfortably articulate. This is an instructional kind of copy - probably under a video in a ski lodge or something - so there's no time limit and no need rush. Let the listener (viewer) have the opportunity to take it all in.

    Peer Feedback:

    I agree with James' comments on speed and clarity. I would also add that I really like your underlying interpretation and approach to the content itself - informal, friendly, it's-okay-I'm-going-to-walk-you-through-this. I like the laugh in the first sentence - it sets up a good tone for the read. I think you have good instincts on this.

    Just slow down, but don't let it drag (snowboarders are high-energy types); enunciate more carefully, but don't over-articulate (keep it casual). You know, just do it perfectly. :-)

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    The Connecticut Lottery

    Script:

    The Connecticut Lottery (radio commercial)
    I couldn‘t stop laughing. I mean me...win the lottery? I couldn‘t believe it!
I mean, at first, I figured it was just my husband...or even a couple friends playing a joke on me. But when they gave me the money...well then I knew it was for real.
I‘ve been playing those same numbers for about 2 years...and wow...it really can pay off.
The Connecticut lottery...somebody‘s gotta win.

    56 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear vickydovoice's recording

    I've received a lot of feedback on the technical issues from you guys and I really appreciate it. I hope the recording quality is better this time. With this ad, I try to convey my surprised feeling when I've won the lottery. Hopefully, my performance is good. Tell me what you think. I welcome all honest comments. Thank you for your feedback.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-122872/script-recording-94406.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    You do sound surprised and it's clear that you've worked on the copy and found ways to express that surprise, which is great! Right now it sounds like you are talking to a group of people instead of one specific person and that makes your acting choices sound a little stiff and not natural. For fun you might try this: Pretend you are telling the story to a close friend in a crowded bar or maybe an office. You are so excited you can't stand it, but you do not want the other people in the room to hear you because you don't want attention drawn to your good fortune. We've all heard how when someone wins the lottery, people come out of the woodwork to ask for money.

    I haven't listened to your previous recordings, so I don't know how far you may have come making improvements. But what I hear are two related things. Your room is pretty lively. I can hear a lot of reverberation or echo, which means you need more acoustic treatment help. For that reason you have your noise gate set high to try to cover the reverberation. And that cuts off the last part of the air of the last word in each sentence. Ironically that draws more attention to your room sound. I think we have all had the same problem at one point or another. You sound passionate so keep working at it and I'm sure you'll continue to improve.

    Peer Feedback:

    It just didn't feel like you won the lottery or that you were telling us your story. The reading was way to forced. The stop-start staccato read was very hard to listen to I am sorry to say.
    There are so many points in this script that allow you to change your tone and make it sound interesting. My advice is get a great voice coach and they will be an incredible help when it comes to analyzing scripts and where to put your emphasis.
    I am not going to comment on the technical side of things as this was covered in the comment above.
    Keep practicing and enjoy!

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    Walt Disney World Resort Promo Redux

    Script:

    Thanks to the Disney Story Rooms at Walt Disney World Resort, you can dream even when you’re awake! Because these rooms don’t just let you stay and play inside some of your favorite Disney stories, they let you feel as if you’re a Character in them too! Go ahead and start your “Once upon a time” today.

    70 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear DAskin's recording

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-124446/script-recording-94770.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    The two takes are not appreciably different in interpretation, intention or inflection. Someone listening to this as an audition might be confused that you submitted the same recording twice in a row. Then, if they did realize that it was indeed two different takes but sounded the same, it would more than likely get 86ed. The two takes must somehow be different, if ever so slightly. The auditioner wants to hear some diversity on the same piece of copy. It shows them that you can be versatile and not "locked in" to only one way of doing it.

    One way of doing that is to take a break between takes and practice the copy
    (or a completely different piece of copy, then come back to this one) with different stresses and inflections.

    Peer Feedback:

    This is a great start!

    I could tell you were working to color this script with excitement, but I think it needs even more energy. This is Disney and the copy looks like it's geared toward children: "Story Rooms", "play", and the talk of feeling like your favorite character. It might help to go to Youtube and search for toy commercials and clips from kids shows.

    Also, try going WAY over the top and smiling really wide. If you're naturally a more reserved person, this is typically what it takes to add a good level of energy. Perhaps speak a little quicker and vary pitch a bit more.

    Also each sentence functions as a beginning, middle, and end. Think about the purpose of each sentence and use that to make them unique.

    Good luck!

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    XM Radio Sample Script

    Script:

    Right now, in the skies above America, two XM Radio Satellites are broadcasting over 100 digital channels of music, news, sports and talk coast-to-coast. All for less than ten dollars a month.

    31 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear jmcbride1983's recording

    Just looking for some feedback. I won't take offense to anything - honesty is appreciated. I'm new and looking to avoid starting any bad habits. Thanks!

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-12919/script-recording-45517.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    I think you sound great. I liked the way you paced it. I struggle there. I am not a professional, but it sounded like a professional to me with a country TWANG!

    Peer Feedback:

    Uh oh, I've been living in Texas for too long...I don't know where this twang came from. If you'll believe, I was actually born and raised in NJ, of all places...

    Peer Feedback:

    I don't know what twang is being discussed...honestly! However, your delivery isn't smooth and conversational. You're over-pausing on the commas. You also have a bit of an announcer sound in this. Don't worry about sounding like Ron Radio and just deliver the goods! Relax a bit and deliver this like you were talking to your wife or your best friend over a beer or cup of coffee or whatever the surroundings! But this most definitely needs some personal touch that brings it more person-to person. Good luck.

    Peer Feedback:

    You're from NEW JERSEY!?! "Get a rope!"

    (Google THAT!)

    Peer Feedback:

    lol Tom ...

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    printer friendly version edit
    Apple iPod

    Script:

    Presenting iPod. The first MP3 player to pack a mind-blowing 1,000 songs and a 10-hour battery into a stunning 6.5-ounce package you can literally take everywhere. But iPod isn't just a revolution in portability, it's also a revolution in simplicity. Just plug into your Mac and all of your iTunes songs and playlists are automatically downloaded into iPod at blazing FireWire speed. With iPod, it's that easy to take your entire music collection with you wherever you go, in the pocket of your choice. Get your iPod at The Wiz, Circuit City, or Best Buys

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on 6 recordings of this script that your peers recorded.

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    printer friendly version edit
    Beta Prostrate

    Script:

    Stay tuned for a nationwide giveaway announcement.

    Are you a man who’s waking up at night again and again to use the bathroom? If you’ve got this problem, we’ve got your solution: doctor-recommended Beta Prostate. Beta Prostate is made with 13 natural ingredients that target your prostate. Imagine: quicker bathroom trips, better relief, and a full night’s sleep. Best of all you can try Beta Prostate FREE, during a nationwide giveaway. Over 4-million bottles of Beta Prostate have already been shipped. If you’re ready to spend less time in the bathroom . . . and get a good night’s sleep . . . call now. Claim your free bottle before time runs out. And as an extra bonus, get our men’s libido formula . . . to support better intimacy for both you and her. It’s yours absolutely free. Just cover the shipping and handling. Call now for details
    ANNOUNCER Just call1-800-452-1774. 1-800-452-1774. 1-800-452-1774.

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on 8 recordings of this script that your peers recorded.

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    printer friendly version edit
    Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

    Script:

    Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
    One of my favorite posters says, "Life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been a real life, you would have been instructed where to go and what to do." Whenever I think of this humorous bit of wisdom, it reminds me to not take my life so seriously. And in the next hour, I'll help you learn how to not take your life so seriously as well.

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on 8 recordings of this script that your peers recorded.

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    Epic Voice

    Script:

    In 1934, P-S-E-C-U was forged by 22 ordinary people
    determined to build a different kind of bank.

    Their legacy lives on with The Founder’s Card.

    Earn one-and-a-half percent cash rewards on eligible purchases…
    Keep more of what belongs to you and be truly rewarded.

    Financing Life is what we do best.
    Call eight hundred LOAN 5-5-5 or visit psecu.com/founders

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on a recording of this script that one of your peers recorded.

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    Flipgive.com web video

    Script:

    Meet Karen
    a full time chartered accountant by day, full time home traffic controller by night
    aaand a part time fund-raiser.
    Chocolates and paper forms? There’s got to be a better way.
    Introducing FlipGive, the best way to fundraise online.
    Earn up to 50% when your friends and family shop with great retailers and restaurants.
    Start by creating your campaign page in just a few simple steps.
    Other fund-raising needs? No Problem! FlipGive makes it easy for a variety of groups to raise money.
    Easily share your campaign in person via social media or e-mail so your friends and family can help you reach your funding goal no matter where they live.
    Yes even uncle Bob can help out, with a quick and easy purchase from his favorite brand.
    Manage your campaign by tracking progress, keeping your supporters upto-date, and thanking them when the mission is complete.
    Flipgive, the future of fundraising is here.

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on 2 recordings of this script that your peers recorded.

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    printer friendly version edit
    Global Golf Adventures: Infomercial

    Script:

    Like Tante Verde, Sun Ridge Canyon is surrounded by mountainous desert terrain. But here the lush, green fairways sit upon the floor of the mountain canyons themselves.

    Wicked indeed, and wickedly fun for those who love a challenge. Once again, multiple sets of tees are in play. So don’t give old many par an unfair advantage. And don’t get the impression that Sun Ridge Canyon is target on golf with difficult carries. The fairways are generous. Most turned from tee through green. Still, sooner or later, you’re gonna go astray. Don’t forget to look up and enjoy the final three holes. It’s desert canyon golf at its finest.

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on a recording of this script that one of your peers recorded.

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    printer friendly version edit
    Go Daddy

    Script:

    This report is brought to you by Go Daddy! Running your own business running you ragged? Go Daddy can help. With memorable domains, website design, online marketing and 24-7 expert advice. You can do it...correction...you can kill it. Go you. Go Daddy.

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on 2 recordings of this script that your peers recorded.

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    printer friendly version edit
    HD Aviator Sunglasses

    Script:

    HD Aviator Sunglasses
    OTHER Sunglasses sell for one hundred, two hundred, even three hundred dollars and they don’t have HD Vision lenses, that cut through glare and give you high definition color and clarity. Call and you can get our brand new HD Aviators for just ten dollars! …But Wait…Call right now and you’ll get a second pair for free! Just pay shipping and handling. HD Aviators! Don’t wait! Call NOW!
    (Low, fast voice) To order your HD Aviators for ten dollars and $6.99 shipping and handling have your credit card ready and call 1-800-788-1292. That’s 1-800-788-1292 or you can go to GetHDAviators.com. Don’t delay. Call 1-800-788-1292 or order on-line today.

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on 7 recordings of this script that your peers recorded.

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    Late night infomercial

    Script:

    If you would like to know how someone can start with a simple idea and a small, limited trading account... and then... explode it MULTIPLE times over... this is going to be the most interesting message you will ever hear.

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on 2 recordings of this script that your peers recorded.

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    printer friendly version edit
    Lifecourse - Mymoriam

    Script:

    Do you want to see more of the world?
    Try out something new for a change?
    Go bungeejumping?
    Scuba diving?
    Or even just get your driver’s license?

    Set goals and realize your dreams! (faster pace)Cross them off your bucket list.

    Which experiences will you never want to forget?
    Use the app to add and alter your most precious memories, wishes, ambitions, and useful information in words, music and images.

    Make MyMoriam securely available to your trustees.
    For now, and the future. All taken care of.

    Your life matters. MyMoriam. for life!

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on a recording of this script that one of your peers recorded.

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    printer friendly version edit
    National Geographic 125 Years

    Script:

    National Geographic commemorates 125 years with this new book and amazing 10-disc anthology showcasing the moments, the people, and the discoveries that changed the world. With show-stopping imagery and thrilling behind-the-scenes tales, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 125 YEARS captures the heart of The National Geographic Society’s fascinating history, from its earliest days as a scientific club to its growth into one of the world's largest organizations. Each section is presented thematically and in chronological order, from summiting Mount Everest to landing on the moon to discovering Titanic. NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 125 YEARS taps key voices from the forefront of ocean and space exploration, climate science, archaeology, mountaineering and much, much more. Sidebars feature famous names including Jared Diamond, Sylvia Earle, Zahi Hawass, Buzz Aldrin, Bob Ballard, and Jane Goodall, contributing their thoughts about big questions of exploration, key frontiers in research, and enduring mysteries. No mere insider’s account, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 125 YEARS focuses on the impact The Society has made on the world and how it has reported and reflected a dramatically changing planet with glimpses at the process of telling the greatest stories on earth.

    Recordings:

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    Navy Pier

    Script:

    No Chicago story is complete without a trip, or twenty, to Navy Pier.

    Every family has their Ferris Wheel ride.

    Every couple, their stolen kisses as fireworks light the night sky.

    But the connection to the city and its people runs deeper than these simple moments can convey. Every inch of Navy Pier’s 50 acres is a reflection of Chicago itself.

    This is a city built by dreamers. Everything here is bigger and better. And we work hard to keep it that way.

    But when it’s time to play, that’s where Navy Pier comes in. Here, you get a Chicago-size serving of music, food, gorgeous views, entertainment and all sorts of other fun. The options are endless. And each trip is better than the one before.

    This is our city. This is our playground. This is our pride and joy.

    Navy Pier. Building excitement. 

    Recordings:

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    ProMist

    Script:

    Choose your own cleaning solution with this innovative spray mop that gives you a fresh, clean start every time. Microfiber pads let you clean effectively with just water or vinegar, making it friendly for kids, pets and multi-surface cleaning!

    Recordings:

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    17 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear Michael King's recording

    any feedback appreciated.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-6112/script-recording-34226.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    I'm sure others will comment on the regionality of your diction,, I don't get as hung up about that as others... It will work some places,, others it wont,, that's true with any voice quality. What I do have an issue with , is the over pronunciation. Such as “they don't have”,, very unnatural . The sound , and atmosphere of the space was good,, If your going to leave the slate in,, I wouldn't leave in one where it sounds like your fumbling with the mic, or computer while your talking. Being a practice forum, slates dont gain you much but some PR,, but that only counts if its done well.

    Peer Feedback:

    Hi Michael,
    Yeah, don't bother with the slate on the forum. Some of us listen to these recordings repeatedly so as to give accurate advice. Having to listen to a slate every time gets tedious and may cause some to not bother commenting.

    Peer Feedback:

    Thanks for the feedback. I edited out the slate. I am working on my craft. Have a good day.

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    17 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear smalltalk's recording

    This is another version of the infomercial script. Feel free to compare them. Thanks so much! Cynthia

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-9551/script-recording-50747.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    it felt a little forced try making it flow as if you were talking to a friend and you just need to tell him. good job though hope this helps!

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    20 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear Sosullivan's recording

    I am not sure if I have a character voice here, or if I am over-reaching.... Worked on conversationally, and pacing, as well as the voice. Any and all thoughts welcome! Regards, Steve O'Sullivan

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-12277/script-recording-31792.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    Hey Steve, I liked it. I thought it was pretty well acted and sounded authentic. And the contraction you used at the end made it even more conversational. Good job!

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    96 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear mmack237's recording

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-97356/script-recording-81238.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    I like the quality of your voice.

    You might trim out the breaths from your recording.

    Also, the beginning is a little sing-songy, rhythmically. Though this helps the ending, a little variety to the cadence could make a difference.

    Peer Feedback:

    Nicely done although the breathing is a tad distracting no doubt.

    Peer Feedback:

    VERY sibilant recording!! Experiment with mic position...likely off axis and above or below your mouth position to cut back on those sizzling "s" sounds.

    Peer Feedback:

    Thank you so much for the feedback. This is my first of many peer to peer recordings, which is truly an amazing forum to assist in the learning process. I am just in the early learning stages of VO and am open to all feedback to help me to continue to improve. As far as the "s" sounds they have been driving me crazy. I will work on relocating the mic to eliminate that sound and edit my breaths. Thanks again!!

    Peer Feedback:

    The basic recording is fairly clean, no room echo, excessive noise, hum or static fuzz.

    Don't know if you applied any noise reduction or EQ, but tinkering with those settings may cut down on those sizzling S sounds that TxTom mentioned. There is also an FX plugin called a "de-esser" that you might apply, however the settings take a little fine tuning as well. There are instructional YouTube videos that can help.

    This script was used for one of the Script Contests a while back - we may be talking over a year and a half. You might go through that archive to get more pearls of wisdom from the judges and observe how the winners approached the copy.

    But, if memory serves, it was styled as a more high-energy, in-your-face kind of read - more Billy Mays Oxiclean than mellow soft sell. The giveaway line is:
    "...explode it MULTIPLE times over..."
    with the imagery of an explosion and the capitalized word.

    This is a prime example of a "call to action" type of script. It's a, "SIT UP STRAIGHT AND LISTEN TO THIS!" kind of thing. It needs to be compelling, yet with a friendly enthusiasm.

    Peer Feedback:

    I'm with the others on this -- there's a bit of sibilance you can work to eliminate. Taking the microphone slightly off axis can help. Also, if you're having problems with p's, I've heard a pop filter can be good for that.
    Good luck!

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    25 people have played this

    Practice Recording:

    Click to hear nickpmathews's recording

    I wanted to give this week's script contest a try. I listened to last week's entries and didn't hear the late-night energy or enthusiasm of the classic announcer. So maybe I overdid it here, but I can always cut back.

    /sites/default/files/script-recordings/user-2433/script-recording-50580.mp3

    Peer Feedback:

    You have a good voice, though the read here felt a bit aggressive and cajoling for my taste. I think I get what you're going for— enthusiasm about how sweet a deal this is— but it comes off huckstery and unconvincing.

    I'd try to be sound more trustworthy, less like a slick salesman than a trusted friend who's found a great opportunity. That being said, either way I wouldn't trust what this script is selling, haha.

    Peer Feedback:

    I think smountjoy nailed this read in this week's contest. My money's on him.

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    Safety information

    Script:

    Safety and security is one of our core values and underpins everything we do.

    Our Safety Management System outlines safety responsibilities for each function and level at Sydney Airport and provides a framework to manage health and safety risk in our workplace.

    The system consists of 10 elements which, together, ensure your safety at Sydney Airport.

    [1. Commitment]
    Commitment to safety at work starts with you. We rely on you to demonstrate safe behaviours, support our safety objectives and live our values every day.

    [2. Strategic planning and continuous improvement]
    Our safety planning sets out performance goals and strategies to reduce risk.

    [3. Consultation and communication]
    An essential part of managing health and safety risk is input from employees and regular communication at all levels.

    Recordings:

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    Sales Presentation

    Script:

    You don't realize it yet, but in the next 8 minutes you'll be getting the secret of how to stop money-worries for the rest of your life.

    If you would like to know how someone can start with a simple idea & a tiny, tiny trading account... and then... explode it MULTIPLE times over... this is going to be the most interesting letter you will ever read.

    Here’s why:

    I’m going to reveal how you can QUICKLY download and set up a forex trading system that makes you tons of money (I'm talking 5…6… and even 7-figure money)… 24/7… even while you're playing golf, vacationing, or sleeping... If that excites you- I know you'll find this letter to be EXTREMELY valuable… "Because I'm going to show you what took me 6 years to perfect -- a PROVEN "Battlefield-Tested" system for profiting from the BEST financial market in the World!"

    Recordings:

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    Sales Presentation

    Script:

    You don't realize it yet, but in the next 8 minutes you'll be getting the secret of how to stop money-worries for the rest of your life.

    If you would like to know how someone can start with a simple idea & a tiny, tiny trading account... and then... explode it MULTIPLE times over... this is going to be the most interesting letter you will ever read.

    Here’s why:

    I’m going to reveal how you can QUICKLY download and set up a forex trading system that makes you tons of money (I'm talking 5…6… and even 7-figure money)… 24/7… even while you're playing golf, vacationing, or sleeping... If that excites you- I know you'll find this letter to be EXTREMELY valuable… "Because I'm going to show you what took me 6 years to perfect -- a PROVEN "Battlefield-Tested" system for profiting from the BEST financial market in the World!"

    Recordings:

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    Spot Remover

    Script:

    Order DS Spotter by calling 1-888-9-SPOTTER that's 1-888-9-SPOTTER. Call NOW and you’ll receive another 32 ounce DS Spotter absolutely free. All of this for the incredible low price of 19.95.

    DS Spotter comes with a 100% money back guarantee. If you're not completely satisfied how DS Spotter removes spots & stains, just send the unused portion back for a full refund.

    Call 888-9-SPOTTER that's 888-9-SPOTTER to receive this incredible offer.

    Recordings:

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    Step Right Up

    Script:

    SALESPERSON: Step right up for the fastest cellular service! Don’t be shy. I’m talking to you!

    SPOKESPERSON: Remember when choosing a mobile provider was like that? Well, things have changed. Just take some time to compare.

    Recordings:

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    • Rose September 30, 2016
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    The Christmas Train

    Script:

    :30
    Every family has their own Christmas traditions and Christmas stories.

    This year, invite President Monson into your holiday tradition with his own personal story of Christmas.

    The Christmas Train, by President Thomas S. Monson, brings the spirit of giving into every home, filled with beautiful illustrations and a heartwarming message.

    This holiday treasure comes with a special CD narrated by President Monson himself, and is also available as an interactive eBook.

    The Christmas Train, Available now at Deseret Book.

    :15
    The Christmas Train, by President Thomas S. Monson, brings the spirit of giving into every home, filled with beautiful illustrations and a heartwarming message, and comes with a special CD narrated by President Monson himself. It is also available as an interactive eBook.

    The Christmas Train, Available now at Deseret Book.

    Recordings:

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    Your Smile

    Script:

    Your smile says a lot about you. If you let it. When you’re uncomfortable about your teeth, it’s easy to hold back your smile. Invisalign’s advanced technology now lets you straighten your teeth invisibly – so you can express yourself fully. And because they’re invisible, no one has to know about it. Hundreds of thousands of people already have discovered Invisalign. Maybe it’s time you were one of them.

    Recordings:

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    Zappos.com

    Script:

    Thank you for calling Zappos, the nation's favorite place to shop on-line, and now over the phone, too!

    In this video, we'll show you how easy it is to find the best deal on the Internet on Zappos.com!

    Today's special is 20% off all sale items!

    Recordings:

    Hear and comment on 3 recordings of this script that your peers recorded.

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